Christmas...

{:For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. For God did not send His Son to condemn the world,

but that the world through Him might be saved:}

John 3:16-17

Love Jesus

I was in Sarasota this weekend at a friend's wedding. I was talking to one of the groomsmen, who is doing a ministry/discipleship program in northern California, about what he would like to do when he finishes and goes back to England. Suddenly he turns the question on me and says: "What do you want to do?" I was a bit stunned by his question. I am frequently asked what my plans are but not many people ask what I want to do. I spoke about my desire to disciple young adults and the passion I have for encouraging people in their walks of faith but somehow my words felt shallow. I kept thinking about his question in the back of my mind feeling I hadn't answered it in a satisfactory way (at least not satisfactory to me).

Last night as I was laying in bed, everything being so quiet, reviewing in my head everything that had happened during the weekend I thought: "All I want to do is love Jesus!!" Sure there are works that He has for me to do, and things I am excited about doing but I want to love Jesus more than anything else... that's the cake! Works is the frosting/icing.

I think that's what God has liked the most this year. I had forgotten about being His above all else. He has been claiming my affections again, as the loving Husband and Father He is.

"'Therefore, behold, I will allure her, will bring her into the wilderness, and speak comfort to her... And it shall be, in that day', says the Lord, 'that you will call Me 'My Husband,' and no longer call Me 'My Master,' I will betroth you to Me forever; Yes, I will betroth you to Me in righteousness and justice, in lovingkindness and mercy; I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness, and you shall know the Lord.'" Hosea 2:14,16,19,20

Let Us Rejoice!

"For the Lord HIMSELF will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of an archangel, and with the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And thus we shall always be with the Lord.

Therefore COMFORT ONE ANOTHER WITH THESE WORDS."

-Paul, 1 Thess 4:16-18

Only dogs can hear...

The door closed. So I walked away.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't slightly relieved.

It is one of those things.

It is dark...

Or maybe it is too bright...

Either way I cannot see.

I can't seem to open my eyes.

I can't seem to come out of this dream.

Can a bird fly again whose wings have been cut?

I'm told they can.

In time they can.

2 > 1

"Two are better than one... " Ecc 4:9

Change is hard... I don't care who you are or what you do, change does not come easy. One may have a good disposition about change but that does not mean it doesn't take effort and strength from one's part. Yes, even if it is for the better.

Recently I've had to expand the size of the flower garden outside my bedroom window. The flowers were so huge they were starting to wither due to lack of space. I've known of this need for quite some time but I just didn't feel up for the challenge. I knew they needed it; I knew it would look beautiful once it was finished and I would be happy, but I just didn't want to. The thought of being out there in the garden, hot, sweaty, cover in dirt and trying to figure out where to put all of the plants by myself was not enticing in the least.... even though I knew how much more fun it would be to look outside my window and see so many flowers.

I realized in this procrastination period that I was resisting change. I liked my garden the way it was: small, quaint... why did these plants had to grow?! Things were fine the way the were, if it got any larger that meant I would have to dedicate more time to it, I would have more responsibility (lol! it sounds like I take gardening super seriously).... why? why? why? It was a blessing from the Lord but I just felt like I couldn't handle it.... so I continued to drag my feet.

I was away for some weeks this summer and when I got back.... YIKES!!!! The garden was a disaster. I mean I didn't know where to look, everything looked so sad- something had to be done, there wasn't room for procrastination. I thought to my self: "Oh God, help! I don't want to do it." That, of course, was an unconscious prayer. Thankfully He listens even when we forget He does. Before I could spring into action my mom saw the dire state of the garden and we went to work that weekend.

We moved and replanted 21 plants!! It took two days. While I worked I became aware of my attitude and demeanor. I was happy, I was working well, I had tons of energy and vision. I wonder what had change; why was I so chirpy all of the sudden about this expansion, this change? I looked at my mom and it was obvious.... it's true: "two are better than one".

Change doesn't seem so daunting when there is someone by your side. You feel stronger, more secure and confident. God made us to live in community. It is not a sign of weakness. It is our design to do things with other people. No wonder Jesus sent His disciples out two by two! I know God sometimes asks us to do things on our own (believe me I do! Jeremiah and Ezekiel do too) but is not the norm, it is the exception.

Now, there is a great and beautiful truth that we should never forget: we are never alone because we have a God that promised not to leave us nor forsake us. But I don't want us to use that as an excuse to walk as lone rangers. Today I want to exhort you to make friends and be friendly (Prov 18:24), to seek out those kind hearts and kindred spirits God has placed in your path.

The same God that said "I am with you always...", also said "two are better than one..."

Lesson Learned

So I am reading this mammoth of a book called: "Church History in Plain Language" by Bruce L. Shelley. I haven't made up my mind yet as to whether I like it or not but I read this very interesting quote yesterday that I've decided is worth sharing. The context of this quote is the rapid growth of Christianity in the first two centuries.

I will highlight the parts that really struck me.

"The Event had happened. God had invaded time and Christians were captivated by the creative power of that grand news. They knew that men had been redeemed and they could not keep to themselves the tidings of salvation. That unshakable assurance, in the face of every obstacle including martyrdom itself, helps explain the growth of the church."

-p. 35

I will let that sink in: the conviction, the assurance, the joy... All of the emotions that the language may arouse in our minds and spirits. May we continue to boldly step out in the truth that resides in us. I pray that the remembrance of the cloud of witness around us may inspire us and set our hearts ablaze, totally surrendered to Him- unafraid of the world.

Grace like Rain...

So as many of you have read.... I have a garden :)

I love my garden. My garden makes me happy. Every morning I have to water it before 10 am otherwise the sun will scorch it and my flowers will get sad (seriously!)

Anyways...

A couple of weeks ago I did not want to get out of bed and water my garden. I can't remember why (I must have gone to bed really late or something) but I just wanted to stay in bed and continue to sleep. Yet my conscience wouldn't allow it. Plus I kinda felt convicted since God had been the one to give me the garden... Finally I just sort of shouted "God I don't want to do it! It'll just be one day, I'll water them in the afternoon" and hunkered down in my bed and pull the covers over my head. I was trying to convince myself that it really wouldn't matter if I didn't water them just then.

Less than five minutes later I hear: drip.... drip.... drip.... drip, drip, drip, DRIP.

It had started to rain.

O_0

Lesson learned: God takes care of His creation.

Frankly I was speechless. I think I got out of bed in disbelief to look out the window. If I was to lazy or stubborn to get out of bed to water the plants, He would do it. He did not depend on me to make sure His creatures were well taken care of... this flowers that He loves so much, He would water them. At the same time I was stunned because I thought about my life. Sometimes I falter and think that my well being is on man's hands. He was saying: "You think I can't take care of you if men decide to be disobedient or lazy? I am the One that strengthens you."

It has pretty much rained everyday (specially in the morning) for like the past two weeks. I miss watering my plants :-/ but at the same time, every time it rains I chuckle and smile; I am reminded of His grace... His sovereign grace.

candles and love songs

So, how many times have you heard that God knows the desires of your heart? How many times have you doubted it? Are you doubting it now?

Some of you will say: "Well no, of course not! He KNOWS it alright. I've told Him a billion times. What I am not so sure of is whether or not He wants to do anything about it!"

For you skeptics out there here is a story about God's.... I'm gonna go ahead and call it---------> Awesomeness.

So I had a birthday recently (tangent: Hooray for chocolate cake!) and my mom asked me a few days before what I wanted to do. I told her I wanted to work in the garden. You see, we've been working on our backyard for a while now and it is almost finished. But my secret plan (aka the desire of my heart) was this: Once we got going on the garden I would 'sneakily' be like: "Well what would you know! Since we are here cover in dirt and have all this flowers, why don't we do a little garden in front of my bedroom window?..."

I've been really wanting a flower garden outside my bedroom window for a while but I hadn't told anyone.

The day of my birthday came, my mom woke me up with the best breakfast in bed ever and peach colored roses. After she told me to have a look outside my bedroom window. Lo and behold, I had a garden!!! She'd made me a garden while I was sleeping! :) (Yes! I have the best mom in the world. And NO, you can't have her).

So there you have it folks. God knows the desires of your heart and He delights in showering you with His blessings (Psalm 68:19).

"He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing."

~Zep 3:17

Wild Flowers & Shooting Stars

In memory of

Wes

March 1985-May 2011

For Heaven's sake...

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it careful round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless- it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable... The only place outside Heaven where you can be safe from all the dangers...of love is Hell."

-C.S. Lewis (The Four Loves)

Great Awakening...

"Then Jesus lifted up His eyes, and seeing a great multitude coming toward Him, He said to Philip, 'Where shall we buy bread, that these may eat?'

...

"Philip answered Him, 'Two hundred denarii worth of bread is not sufficient for them, that every one of them may have a little.'"

John 6: 5,7

I shared with a friend this week that I felt like the disciples in this story just before Jesus multiplies the fish & bread. In fact, when I shared it with him, I was exactly in Philip's shoes. Acknowledging the reality of my unbelief startled me but I didn't run away to hide. Instead I just sat there, by Jesus, not really knowing what to say. My friend asked me if I had yet presented what I had so God could multiply it.... hmmmm.... No, no I haven't. "Why ever not?" I thought. Conviction. Correction. Still more silence. More sitting at His feet, quiet, not wanting to be a fool but rather wait for the truth to surface. The answer came to me today. As I was driving home I asked "Why hadn't I presented You with what I had?"

"'Cause you were afraid it wouldn't be enough", came the response.

Sigh. Sometimes I can be so foolish.

I got home still thinking about it. Got online to check e-mails, fb, etc. and I came across a picture from my pastor in DC. He is in Arizona at the moment and the pics were of the "cathedral rock climb" (rock formation in shape of a cathedral thousands of feet above sea level... it looks pretty cool). Anyways, one of the pics had the caption: "Calling on heaven. God spells faith: R.I.S.K."

:)

I smile because God is good.

Have you gotten the truth that was revealed to me yet?

Philip was afraid they didn't have enough. Maybe he was afraid people would get angry and hurt them (5,000 hungry, cranky ppl can be alarming). Or maybe he was scare the multitude would be disappointed. Who knows. The thing is he was uncomfortable and he wanted Jesus to dissipate that which made him uncomfortable (Luke 9:12) . But Jesus wants to teach him to walk by faith, not by sight.

A mentor of mine has a saying: "If you want to be a person of impact, you cannot be afraid of the collision."

There is always a measure of risk in following God but we cannot be afraid of it, we must embrace it. We must call on Him who gave us the vision to supply for the need. It was Jesus who made Philip aware of the need, and it is Him who supplied for it. He always knows how He will supply, even before He makes us aware of the need ("He Himself knew what He would do" Jn 6:6). He just wants to tests us through the process, that we might be purified... that our understanding of Him would expand, increase. He wants to take us outside of our box, that we can enjoy His limitless power and grace.

May God bless you today and embrace you in the power of His love ;)

Have a great day!!

Lectures...

It is hard not to be afraid. It takes energy to stand fast and wait. I hear people talk about waiting as if it were a mindless act. It makes them feel lazy. Lazy?! Are you kidding me? It is exhausting to stand here still, trusting. How can one feel lazy when one has to constantly fight the inward battle of letting go of one's controlling tendencies and allow God to do the work He wants to do.

I feel sad for those who wait and are judged by those who don't. It is hard work indeed to get one's self out of the way AND... stay out!

The Countdown Has Begun

To everything there is a season,

A time for every purpose under heaven:

A time to be born and a time to die;

A time to plant, and a time to pluck what is planted;

A time to kill and a time to heal;

A time to break down , and a time to build up;

A time to weep, and a time to laugh;

A time to mourn, and a time to dance;

A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones;

A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

A time to gain, and a time to lose;

A time to keep, and a time to throw away;

A time to tear, and a time to sew;

A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

...

He [God] has made everything beautiful in its time..."

Eccl. 3:1-7, 11a

I am happy to announce I am going to England!!!!! The preparations have begun. It has been a long journey in which God has shaped me & mold me more into the image of His Son. There has been a great testing of faith but at last things have started to take on a more definite shape.

So let me bring you up to speed.

Right now the church in England with whom I will serve is in the process of getting a Sponsorship License. What is that? Well, since 2009 the immigrations laws in the UK changed, and a new scheme was set in place. Any entity wanting to bring immigrants over must have this special license with the government according to the type of activity the immigrant will be doing (working, religious, sports & recreation, youth mobility and on goes the list). It is, of course, a lot of paperwork & rather long process (at least a few months). But the pastor is hopeful I will be there by the end of June :)

After the church secures a tier 5 sponsorship license (that's for religious workers), they will be able to issue me a sponsorship certificate. Once I have my sponsorship certificate I am one step closer to apply for a religious worker visa. The sponsorship certificate is what ties me to the church so that the immigration agency knows where I'm going, what I'm doing and who am I accountable to while I'm in the country, it is assurance that I'm not a random immigrant wanting to live off of their government help.

There are two other things that must happen before I am able to go. I must have an established 1) Support Team & 2) I must have proof that I can support myself in England for the 2 years I'll be living there (otherwise my visa won't get approved).

1) A support team. If there is anything God has taught me while being back in the States is that this mission needs to be backed up by the body of Christ. This is a team effort!!! YOU, my prayer partners who support me & love me, staying connected with me and up to date on what is happening ARE the backbone. This step of faith is yours as much as it is mine. THANK YOU!!! Thank you for laboring with me and taking ownership of the work as we trust God to bring about His promises.

2) Finances. This is very straight forward. Part of the supporting documents needed when I apply for a 2 year religious worker visa is bank statements that prove I in fact have the funding necessary to live in the UK, since I won't be allowed to earn an income in their country. The estimated cost of living in Southampton for 2 years is $35,836 (USD). This includes rent, utilities, food, transport and phone.

Prayer Request:

- For Calvary Chapel Southampton to get the Sponsorship License in a timely manner, that there wouldn't be any delay or hurdles.

- For all of my finances to come in the next couple of months.

-To stay focused and encouraged in this time of waiting.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, for all your love and support!! Your prayers move mountains! :)

On Loving & Growing...

"I have not spoken in secret, in a dark place of the earth; I did not say to the seed of Jacob, 'Seek Me in vain'; I, the Lord, speak in righteousness, I declare things that are right." Isaiah 45:19

Lately I'm getting into gardening. This little ones you see in the picture were planted about... 2 weeks ago? They are huge now but in this picture they had only been planted for 4 days... The longest four days of my life. It might sound silly, but when I planted this seeds, I would pay them a visit every morning & every night staring at them for a good few minutes to see if I could discern any green coming out. Perhaps I was trying to will them to come out with my gaze. On the third night of my usual staring my mom started to laugh, told me to leave them alone, that they wouldn't come out at least for another few days. I didn't care, I stare for another minute or two and went back to bed- there was absolutely no sign of sprouting. Then in the morning.... Gasp!!! They were there! The seeds had sprouted!! Joy!!!!!

Only 8 hours before there was no sign of life and then, voilà.

This experience reminded me of God's faithfulness. How God watches over His word to fulfill it. Even if we forget, He does not. Even if we falter He does not. Even when nothing seems to be moving forward, He is at work, and in His time He will bring it to pass.

His name be glorified!!!! :)

PS- I have no idea why everything is underlined...lol... I tried to figure out how to take it off to no avail... I guess everything I'm saying is important, lol ;)

Charis

"For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourself; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast." Eph 2:8

The Creepy Eye Monster :-|

"There are diversities of gifts, but the same Spirit. There are differences of ministries, but the same Lord. And there are diversities of activities, but it is the same God who works all in all. But the manifestation of the Spirit is given to each one for the profit of all..." 1 Corinthians 12:4-7

I look around me and I see so many people with so many different qualities/gifts/talents/(whatever-you-want-to-cal-them) to admire; and I must confess, sometimes I find myself wishing I was more like them. "If I only had her smile or gentleness, if I only had his sense or assurance..." I was engaged with this sort of thinking the other day, wondering how to re-invent myself, when God reminded me of a version of 1 Cor 12 I heard a few years ago. It reads like this:

"If Foot said, "I'm not elegant like Hand, embellished with rings; I guess I don't belong to this body," would that make it so? If Ear said, "I'm not beautiful like Eye, limpid and expressive; I don't deserve a place on the head," would you want to remove it from the body? If the body was all eye, how could it hear? If all ear, how could it smell? As it is, we see that God has carefully placed each part of the body right where he wanted it....An enormous eye or a gigantic hand wouldn't be a body, but a monster. What we have is one body with many parts, each its proper size and in its proper place. No part is important on its own."

"You are Christ's body—that's who you are! You must never forget this. Only as you accept your part of that body does your "part" mean anything."

=)

I love how much He knows me, and how He communicates with me in exactly the words I need to hear.

Hebrews 13:5

I have a friend who has the habit of listing things that she is thankful for every day. It is a good habit to have. It keeps one's heart soft, moldable and humble. It is specially good when one is feeling groggy, gloomy or grouchy... or simply numb... Gratefulness is like fuel to joy and faith...

try it! ;)

here goes mine...

--> my sister, who is awesome ;)

--> most beautiful Christmas tree ever!

-->my friends who are in missions whose life inspire me not to give up, and to stand on God's promises [you know who you are, bt I want to give a special shout out to RR*, u rock! lol ;) ]

-->God who is faithful

-->my mom, who loves me and wants to encourage me to seek God first

-->God's word, which is always true, living and powerful

-->the ppl in Miami who have welcomed me, making the transition easier

-->the ladies prayer group

-->God's provision for my physical needs

-->a room to put my things, and a bed to rest

-->a family that i can laugh with

Prayer from a friend

"May I challenge you all this coming year, to search the Scriptures daily,

test all things, and beware lest anyone cheat you through philosophy

and empty deceit, according to the traditions of men, according to the

principles of the world, and not according to Christ."

-J.R.

sounds of the wind...

Maybe one day

Just maybe

I don't know for sure.

I just have this thought

this yearning

this longing of the heart

as if a dream within a dream

Perhaps Im crazy

but I could swear I heard the promise

It was just a whisper

He spoke

but that without words

He told me

but not a sound was heard

Lift me up

higher and higher

Take me away

into the valley of the lilies

into the ends of the world

I want to see without a mirror

I want to behold Your face

Let me see your beauty

let me die in Your presence

that i may awake in Your likeness

Untitled

"This very week, may you find great victory in your life as through His ability you begin to stand where you've always stumbled. May you watch your needs supplied through His provision. As you exercise your faith and grow in faith-all through the grace and mercy of Jesus Christ."

-Chuck Smith , "Faith" (p.42)